My Life, My Love
by oButterflyo
Summary: I think there are to less Dagonet FF. Too much Tristan even though I love him... Well I tried a Dagonet one. Its Romance Stuff..hope you guys like it.
1. Chapter 1

Hi. I just want to inform you, do not be to shocked if there are strange mistakes or so. I am not English. It is my second language. Even though I live in the United States at the moment I still make mistakes. So I just apopolgize in advance if it sounds just ridiciulous or makes no sense. I would really appreciate if you review. Because you liked it or not. Enjoy.

I was lying in our bed. Hearing him softly snore and knew he was still asleep. I turned on my back, opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. Today was one of these days, when he sleeps longer than I do. The reason for that is, he just came home from one of his missions. He is gone for days, weeks or even months. And I don't like those times. I don't do anything else than worry for him. My mind is always with him and never on my chores. Those times are the worst. And waiting at the gate and throw myself into his arms at his return is the best. We celebrated their return and unfortunately sometimes mourned about the loss of one of their brothers. Then he would take my hand and lead us into our small but comfortable room and we would just held each other, plant kisses over each other, share little tender loving cares and fall asleep in each others arms.


	2. Chapter 2

3 years. It is now 3 years that Dagonet and I are lovers. The best 3 years in my life. I do not regret one of those years. I am glad to have met him and have the privilege to be with him. With one of the great knights of Arthur from the Great Wall. Even if the Romans think they are not great. They have no idea. Those knights are the bravest men I know. They risk they life in every silly mission they have to go to get their freedom. Their freedom. They are free. They had always been and will always be. 

It all started when I was a girl or young woman at the age of 22. Our village was attacked by a folk I never have heard of but would later learn of. They burnt the houses and killed everyone. Myself, my friend Nora and a couple of children were the only survivors. We went for a walk into the fields behind the lake like we always did on Saturdays. And that saved our lives. On our return Nora and I noticed smoke coming up behind some trees and we went suspicious. I told her to stay with the children, who slowly became frightened and calm them down.

I quickly ran into the village and what I found shocked me so hard I fell onto my knees and just kneeled there, mouth open and unable to do anything else. As realization finally hit me I started to cry and screamed over the pain, the crime that occurred here, over the life's that had been taken. I cried so hard I first did not see the person coming towards me, holding high a sword, ready to kill me.

"Ela watch out!" I stopped crying and looked up to see the man running towards me.  
I quickly got up, turned around and ran back to the lake. Near the trees stood Nora with the children and I became even more scared and worried for the children. They would get killed, we all will get killed.  
"RUN!!" I screamed and they ran. Catching up with them I picked up little 3-year-old Ida who was to slow for the others and screamed to them to speed up. I turned my head around to see if we are followed to see 3 more of those men. Speeding up again I saw men on horses coming from the direction we were heading to.  
Turning immediately right to avoid the new danger as well. I fell behind with little Ida, who became to heavy for me but I did not give up. Turning my head again to see both were following us. And then it came. Pain. I stopped. I put Ida on the ground. Fell to my knees again and grabbed my back. An Arrow. It was right at the edge. It came out on the left side of my hips. I was disbelievingly staring at my bloody hands. Never really been injured, seeing my own blood in that amount shocked me. I realized that Ida was staring at my bloody hand too and looking very scared I told her to run and follow the others. She would not listen but I promised her that I will follow her soon and she left. Watching her run her away and not able to move a lot I heard a horse coming towards me. I froze, scared to death I looked up to meet the kindest brown eyes I have ever seen.  
"Don't harm them, they are just children" I said and fainted.


	3. Chapter 3

What happened after that I do not know. But I woke up to the wonderful sound of children laughs and relaxed a bit.

After a while I decided to open my eyes and check on the children and look for Nora. I found myself in a tiny tent. A mans back was turned to me and doing something I couldn't see. He probably knew that I was awake and he started to speak.

"How you feeling?" came the kind question. I was puzzled to hear such kindness in such a rock of a man.

Startled I answered him.

"I think I am fine. Mh, excuse me but who are you and where am I and where are the children and Nora? Are they hurt?" The man finally turned around and chuckled.

"So many questions. Your friends are safe and unharmed. The children are playing outside. And your friend is with them. If you are feeling better my commander would like to talk to you, but if not he understands" He looked expectantly at me. It was the man with the brown eyes I begged not to harm my little ones. He did not. And I am glad and liked him even more even though I did not know him very much.

"Oh no that's fine. Can I just ask what happened? I am afraid I don't know. I can't really remember. Just those terrible men were following us and I felt pain on my back and saw blood on my hands. I never saw so much of my own blood. And then I saw you. And I... the rest I cannot remember. He nodded.

"There is no more you can remember. You were unconscious since that moment. You were hit by an arrow. You were lucky. Not many survive that. I took care of your wound and bandaged it. It is pretty much closed. But you shouldn't do anything that could reopen it though" I was a little bit embarrassed to hear that he took care of me and bandaged my wound. Normally women get healed by women in our town but there is probably no other woman around so he had to. He stood up and was about to leave when I realized he didn't answer my first question,

"Wait, I still don't know your name!" "Its Dagonet" "Thank You Dagonet!" I said and he smiled and said "I get Arthur" And left the tent.

I did not want to wait in the tent so I slowly got up trying not to hurt myself to much and failed totally.  
I fell back onto the ground and winced as the pain from my wound shot through my body. Moaning painfully I laid back and shut my eyes, waiting for that Arthur to come. When I woke up again I was still alone. Thinking about what Arthur wanted to talk with me I heard some sounds coming from the entry and a little squeak when I was knocked over from little Ida.

"Pumpkin get off of her. She needs to rest" said Nora who came into the tent with Ida.

"Oh no that's fine. I missed my little girl. How are you sweetheart? Have you been a good girl?? Of course you have" I said and cuddled her and gave her little kisses. She just smiled her most beautiful smile and hugged me back.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me concerned. "Much better" I said, "But how are you and the children? Was someone else hurt? And who are those men that were helping us? And this Arthur, who is it? Or should I say where is he? He was supposed to come and talk with me but he didn't show up yet" I said a little bit sour.

"Well, he had been here already sweetie, but you were sleeping and he left. Its that easy" she said with in a matter-of-fact tone. Ignoring what she said I changed the subject and fumbled with Idas hair.

"Anyway, I think I should leave this tent for a while. I need some fresh air" I said, put Ida on the floor and stood up. I better said I tried to stand up, fortunately Nora was there and saw that I was not safe on my feet and helped me get up. With her help we left the tent and walked a little bit around. Some of the children came to us and hugged me, glad to see me and I was glad to seem them unharmed and happy, Nora told them quickly to leave me alone, that I still need some rest and they ran away and played again. I just smiled, never seen Nora so concerned and grown-up. Normally I was the responsible one but this time had been tough time and she had to take care of the children all alone. I was proud of her.

As we were walking around I saw some men, probably those who were helping us.  
And as I asked Nora she confirmed it.

"You don't have to fear them. Even though they look scary sometimes. There are so nice and funny and the children just love them. And I too and you will also... Well let me tell you about them" she said, cleared her throat as I looked curious at her and she began, "They are Sarmatian Knights who have to fight for Rome. Their leader is a Roman but he is a nice man and they love him like a brother as they love each other like brothers. Well, his name is Arthur. Then we have Gawain, oh there he is, with the blonde long hair" and she pointed him out and right after that showed me another man next to him "and this is Galahad. He's cute, isn't he?" she said dreamingly. Looking at her again and seeing her with that dreaming smile on her lips made me giggle. Gladly she did not notice. Then she showed me two rocks of men with bald heads.

"The one with the belly is Bors, weird name don't you think?" She looked at me interrogative but I just shrugged.

"And the giant over there is.." "Dagonet. I know. I spoke to him earlier" I cut her off and she looked stunned. As if he knew we were talking about him he turned around and nodded, I gave him a weak smile back and waved to him. Nora just gave me an odd look.

"Anyways, there are 3 more, Arthur of course, he should be here somewhere" and she turned her head in every direction to look for him but did not find him.

"He is probably walking around or so" she shrugged.

"And the other 2? Did you not say there are 3 more?" I asked her.

"Oh yes, almost forgot. Tristan, he is a scout, a little bit creepy if you ask me. And Lancelot. He is a charmer. I better say quite annoying. Well, I don't want to give you a wrong picture of those gentlemen. Wait until they come back. Oh look there is Arthur. I think he wants to talk to you right now. Actually I don't know what he wants to talk to you. He asked me already and you don't know more than I, do you? I mean you were wounded and unconscious. How could you know something that I do not know?" she said irritated. But smiled friendly too Arthur as he approached us.

"Good Day, Ladies" he said kindly.

"Good Day, my Lord" Nora and I responded and kind of bowed to him.

"Please, don't bow. There is no need"He said a little embarrassed.

"I would like to talk to you my Lady. We had not the pleasure yet. I would like to know the persons I protect and safe for Saxons" he said with a friendly smile on his face.

I just nodded and followed him a little bit aside from the others. I turned to Nora but she just shrugged and made her way to the children. He led me to a tree stump and offered me to sit. He probably thought I was exhausted. And I actually was. I did not realize first, but as I sat I was glad to sit and felt suddenly tired. 


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked me concerned. He must have noticed how tired I looked and I probably looked terrible. He put an hand on my shoulders and spoke again "Ela, shall we go back. You are not looking very good. Your wound is probably still not healed. You should lay down and rest. We can talk another time. Dagonet will look after you" he asked me. "No, no I am fine. Just need to sit a little. That's all" I gave him a weak smile. He just nodded.

"Why were the Saxons attacking your village?" he eventually asked. I looked at the ground and thought of the village. They were all dead. My family. The families of the children. All dead. How could I forget? My eyes filled with tears. The loss was so huge. For everyone. Those children had nothing left than Nora and me. Poor children. But I would take care of them. I totally forgot that Arthur was standing in front of me and snapped out of my thoughts as he said my name. I looked with watery eyes up to him and said "I don't know. I didn't even hear of Saxons before" "Why were you not in the village when the attack occurred?" "Nora and I were taking the children for a walk. We always did that. Nora probably told you. You spoke to her, didn't you? Though you are asking me? Why? I do not understand. I do not know more than she does. How could I? I was unconscious" I said, not longer willing to talk about what happened. I turned my gaze to the children who were playing with two of the knights.

"I just want them to be safe. They have nothing left. They are alone now" He followed my gaze.

"No they are not. They got you. And they know that" she gave me a honest smile.

"It is unusual for Saxons to come this far. That's why I am asking. We will take you to the Great Wall and you will find a new home there" he said promising. I looked him in the eyes to see if he was just talking. But I could see that he was not. Those eyes could just not lie. He spoke the truth. He will help us starting all over. And I was grateful. That they are still some people who are willing to help without asking.

"That is very kind of you my Lord. I do not know how to thank you. If there is anything you need. Do not dread to ask my Lord" I took his hands and kissed them lightly "I am in your debt" "Your Welcome, and no you are not in my debt" he said with a generous smile.

"Shall we go back? I think you should rest a little?" he offered.

"Yes. That would be good. I am feeling so weak" I said when I stood up. Probably too fast because suddenly I saw some black dots in front of me and closed my eyes. And then was the pain back.

It shot right through my entire body.

"Ela, are you alright?" he asked as I moaned painfully.

"I ... I am not sure" "I bring you to Dagonet. Just hold on" he said and supported me as we walked back to the tent.

In front of the tent was Dagonet standing, he was throwing something into the tent and didn't see us coming.

"Dagonet" Arthur shouted.

He turned around and looked with a expressionless face to us, but when he saw me his look got worried. "What happened?" he asked.

"We were talking. When she stood up she almost collapsed... I don't know. Probably her wound. You're the healer. Take a look at her" Arthur said and passed me to Dagonet. "Get well" he said kindly to me and left us.

"You should have stayed in the tent. It was to early" Dagonet said and looked at me kind of displeased and tried to bring me into the tent.

"I am fine. I was just tired. I don't want to be stuck in this little tent forever. I need fresh air" I said over his statement, "But I am not feeling good right now. I ... I think my wound...there is some blood" I said and looked on my wound to see that there was more blood than a couple of minutes ago. "Or maybe a little bit more.." I said shocked and looked back at him, to find myself in his arms because I couldn't hold my weight any longer and he caught me before I hit the ground.

"Damn" he cursed under his breath.

He carried me into the tent and laid me gently on my side on the ground. He carefully lifted up my clothes to look at my wound and hissed a little. I was wincing a little as he took care of my wound. Again. But I don't know what he was doing. I was half conscious. I just wanted to be alone and sleeping.

When he was done he put my clothes back on the right place and turned me around so that I was lying on my back. Through the whole procedure he was so gentle. I was surprised. I did not know how a warrior like him could possibly so gentle. He is killing people and probably not gentle. I grinned at my thoughts. But remembering he was still there I closed my eyes in exhaustion and took a deep breath. I couldn't open my eyes to face him. I was a little embarrassed about the situation. He was right, it was to early. But no, I had to left the tent. But it was too late now. It happened. "You will rest until I tell you when to get up. Understood?" he just said.

"Mh..." I made, still not facing him but then disappointed with myself I said "I am sorry Dagonet. I feel embarrassed. So embarrassed. Embarrassed what happened, that I worry you so much just because I am to stubborn. I really am thankful that you take care of me. I will do as you say. I promise"I said, finally facing him. He gave me a small smile and nodded. Then he left. And I closed my eyes and fell asleep before I knew.


	5. Chapter 5

Something shook me softly awake the next day and when I opened my eyes I saw Dagonet. He smiled at me warmly and I returned the smile.

"How did you sleep?" "Mh... good actually. Are we leaving?" I asked with an raised eyebrow to the fact that he was starting to pack things in his bag.

"We have to. They tracking us. Tristan saw them" he stated.

"They...what? How? Oh my god. They will kill us" I started to panic. He stopped his doing and took hold of my arms to calm me down.

"Don't fret. Nothing will happen to you or the children. We just must hurry" I nodded my head and he went on packing things. I throw the blanket that covered me away and helped him packing things.

"What are you doing? Stop. Don't move or your wound will open again" he said scowling.

I stopped in my movings and looked at him. Not willing to obey him and rather help him than lying here quietly and watching him hurry. But I gave a promise that I would do as he says. And he said I should rest until he says I can get up. And I obeyed. I laid back down and watched him. When he had all his belongings out of the tent and put them on the horses he came back and lifted me carefully into his arms.

"Please, I can walk. It is not that bad that you have to carry me" I said embarrassed. "Didn't you give a promise?" he said with an raised eyebrow. I looked at him ruefully. Now I regretted that I gave that promise.

"Well, then I gave a silly promise. I am quite capable of walking" I said cheeky and I found myself already sitting on a horseback. I just shrugged. Looking around were the children were. I found them nowhere.

"Where are the children and Nora?" I asked and realized that she was missing, too.

"They went ahead. By foot. Otherwise they would slow us down" said Arthur from my left side.

I looked at him worried. "They will be fine. Tristan is with them" he assured me. I just nodded my head. And when we got all our things packed and stored we started to ride. In a quick speed we rode along and I just enjoyed the feeling of sitting on a horse again. It had been a while since the last time. I closed my eyes and leant back against Dagonets chest. I felt comfortable like I hadn't in a long time.

When I was younger, at the age of 10, my father would always take me in the noon, right after lunch to our horses. We had 3. 3 beautiful horses. 2 Stallions. Black. And one mare. Also black. But I was just allowed to ride our mere. Her name was Fila. I loved her. I rode her every day after lunch. And my father came always with me. Sometimes we went for a ride in the nearby woods or fields and would race each other or would just ride slowly along and enjoy the landscape.

But this would never happen again. My family is dead. They died in the attack of the Saxons. Sorrow overcame me at the thought of my dead family. But there was no time to mourn at the moment. I had to be strong.

After a while we reached some woods. We slowed our speed a little bit down.  
"So where are the others?" I turned my head a little to Dagonet.  
"They are waiting here" "Here?" I asked shocked "These woods are frightening. How can you let little children go into here?" I asked bewildered. They will be scared to death. Oh my little Ida. She needs me. She is always frighten in the woods. "They will be fine" he just stated. I snorted. Sure they will. Men just don't know children.  
I shook my head in disbelief how they could act like that. I froze when I heard crying. I nervously looked around to find the source. "See..." I said worried. He did not say anything. The crying became louder and I finally saw Nora holding little Ida as she tried to calm her down.  
As soon as he stopped I jumped off the horse and ran to them.  
Nora gave me a relieved look. Glad to see me she passed little Ida to me and spoke softly to her and stroke her back in a calming way. It took awhile but finally she stopped crying and fell asleep. Meanwhile we were walking deeper into the forest. The knights dismounted their horses and put some of the kids on their backs. They were really tired and appreciated that they did not need to walk any longer. Ignoring the pain coming from my wound I walked with the others. Still holding little Ida in my arms, when Dagonet suddenly appeared at my side. He looked at me worried and I just smiled at him weary.  
"She looks heavy. Give her to me. I carry her. I can see that you are in pain" to tired to argue with him I nodded my head in agreement and carefully passed her to him. She gladly did not wake.  
"Is she your sister or so?" he asked me quiet.  
"No. I took care of her. Like I did of the children. I know her since she was an infant. Her parents are...were good friends of my family" I corrected myself.  
He just looked on the ground as we walked.  
"Do you have any family?" I asked him interested. He gave me a sad look and turned his gaze back to the ground.  
"I am sorry. I did not intend to make you sad" I apologized. "It's alright. No, I do not have family. I don't want to bring someone in my life who has to worry for me, that I mayhap someday won't return" he said honestly.  
I nodded my head but felt sorry for him. How could they live like this. I probably couldn't. And I would not let them. I would find a way to make them happy. Even just for awhile. They deserve it.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry that I updated so late, but I am in a rush lately. Not much time to write. Okay, hope you guys like it. Enjoy.

We were walking through the woods until sunset. Severel times we stopped to rest for a little while but not long enough to actually regain strength. But when Arthur said that we would stay here for the night, everyone gave sigh of relief. Luckily there was a little stream where we made camp. We could refill our water supplies and clean ourselves. They were all tired and exhausted. Especially the children. I looked to Dagonet who still held Ida. She was sleeping. Still. Poor girl. She must have been so frightened earlier.

The children dismounted the big horses with help of the knights and then looked for a comfortable place to sleep. There was not much grass, in fact none. Only ground and leaves but there were also spots with moss. I looked with them for places that were could to sleep on. Most of them curled up close to each other. Some were frightened. A few seated themselves in front of the fire that Gawain sparked and stared dreamy in the red flames. After I checked on the children who were already sleeping I made my way to those who could not find any sleep. I sat next to them and enjoyed the warmth of the fire. One of the smaller boys came to me and placed himself in my lap. I embraced him warmly and he immediately relaxed a little. Then I told them a story. And they listened carefully. And after a while I saw that their eyelids grew heavy and they fell asleep moments after. I placed Ruben, the boy in my lap, softly on the ground a covered him with a small but warm cloth.

I made my way silently to Nora, but when I was almost by her I saw that she was not alone. Someone was with her. One of the Knights. The young one with the curly her. Galahad was his name. She was talking to him. And they seemed to have interest and have lots to talk about. They were smiling the whole time. It seemed they liked each other. I was happy for her. I turned around with a small smile on my face and went to check on Ida. When a simple but worried question popped up in my head. Where actually was she? I had not seen her since we stopped here. I checked up on the other children. I thought she was safe with Dagonet. I did not want to disturb Nora. She should enjoy her time with Galahad. She probably did not know either. So I walked through the camp, stopping on every little bunch of sleeping children to look if Ida was with them. But I could not find her. Finally I saw Dagonet sitting close to a tree aside. I hurried to him.

"Where is Ida?" I asked a little anxious. He looked up to me and motioned to me to be quiet.  
He moves a little to the side and I saw her lying there, sleeping peaceful.  
I exhaled relieved.  
"I totally forgot she was with you. And I could not find her. I was worried. But I know she is safe with you. Please forgive me" I said and seated myself close to them.  
"What should I forgive you? There is nothing to forgive. You are tired. You should rest. You look after more than one child. It can happen that you lose sight of one" he stated knowingly.

"Lay down. Here. I keep guard" he was right. I was tired. I laid down next to Ida. One arm wrapped protective around her. Glad to finally be able to sleep after such a long day I closed my eyes. But could not find sleep right away. I opened my eyes again and I saw Dagonet sitting against the tree and keeping guard. He looked tired himself.

"Don't you want to sleep. You must be exhausted as well?" I asked him hushed. He turned his face to me. He must have thought I was already sleeping judging by his expression.  
"I am fine" that was all he said. I raised an eyebrow.  
"Are you sure. I feel bad when I know that you have to sit here and watch over us. I can do that. And you can get some sleep" I offered.  
"I am used to not getting enough sleep during missions. So don't bother" he said with a smile.  
I did not know what to respond so I kept quiet. But still finding no sleep I questioned him further.

"Nora told me you are Sarmatian Knights. Can you tell me something about this land? I am afraid I do not know anything, actually I never heard of it before" He looked so sad.  
"I cannot remember" he closed his eyes "I cannot remember what it was like"

I felt bad. It must have been a sad story he, they had. And I, of course had to remind him that he did not know anything of his homeland. Ashamed I looked away from him. I sometimes should just be quiet. I cursed myself for being so careless. Maybe he wanted to talk about it. I collected myself and looked back at him and asked him

"Do you...you want to talk about it?" I gave him an encouraging smile "What happened?" I asked softly and sat up to see him better.  
He looked at me with an unreadable expression. I could not tell if he would yell at me, ignore me, stand up and walk away or actually answer me. Somehow I got lucky and he did indeed answer me.

"We are cursed. The Romans take the Sarmatians for years into their service. Every Sarmatian son becomes a Knight in service of Rome. But we did not ask to be here" he said angrily "There was a fight between Sarmatians and Romans. Only a few Sarmatians survived. Impressed by their bravery the Romans spared their lives and took every 15 years sons of the Sarmatian tribes who survived. Until now Sarmatians are in their service. But not willingly, we fight for a thing we do not believe in. We despise the Romans" he told me.

"But you do not hate Arthur, do you?" I wondered. He chuckled a little.  
"Arthur?"he asked "No. He is more Britain then one of those bastards and if he is we tell him" he said in a matter of fact tone.  
"And when are these 15 years over for you?" I asked. He took his time to answer my question.  
"I reckon in around 5 years or so"

"You don't know exactly? But you must?"

"It probably sounds like I do not care when I will be free. I do. But I cannot change the fact that I still will be in service of Rome even though I know when I will be free" he said "You should not bother yourself with my fate. It is how it is!" he just shrugged.  
I nodded my head to show him that I understand his view.

"But I do bother" he looked at me astonished. I smiled at him "I bother the same as you bother yourself with us" he smiled back.  
"It is how it is" he had to chuckle and I joined him, I could not hold it back. It was great to see him laugh, I have not seen him laugh before and it just showed me that they are still human and capable to feel albeit they do not show it often.

We did not say anything for a while. Just kept staring into the sky or the nearby fire. The night sky was clear and the stars were shining bright. You could hear crickets in the distance. The fire was cracking. The children were fast asleep and were lying close together. Loud snoring came from the other side of the camp. One of the knights, probably Bors. I grinned unaware.

"Bors.." he said quiet and shook his head as if he knew that I was hearing him as well

"He always snores. Kind of annoying, I know. But I am used to it by now" he told me.  
"It is alright. I don't mind" I assured him.  
I yawned widely. He noticed.  
"You should sleep now. It is late"

"Yes, master" I joked and he chuckled again. I loved to hear him laugh.  
"Good Night, Dagonet" I said and laid down again and closed my eyes.  
"Night" came it back. I had a big smile on my lips. Sleep came fast and took me in the lands of dreams.


End file.
